Somebody’s in the attic!
It’s funny, when I was a kid I never really thought of the Brady Bunch as an old show. It was just a show that was on everyday. I’ve probably seen each episode multiple times – and probably haven’t seen any episode all the way through in decades! That changed tonight.
For Day 3 of HelleVision, it’s late and I almost slept through this – but I am watching season 4, episode 6 of The Brady Bunch, “Fright Night.”
There’s something in the attic! At least that’s what Cindy thinks. She hears something creeping around in Greg’s future room, and when she wakes Jan up they saw a ghost dancing outside!
Of course Mom and Dad come to the rescue but find nothing. And Marcia heard nothing either, but that’s just because she is so much better than her sisters.
As it turns out, it was those three pricks that live down the hall playing tricks again. Their laughing gave it away to Mike and Carol – and the girls figured it out because Marcia figured it out because she’s so much smarter than her sisters. And now the girls are out for revenge.
They bet the boys won’t spend a night upstairs in the attic in the dark because of the ghots. Of course the boys take them up on the offer because they know that they made up the ghost, but they don’t know that the girls now that they made up the ghost – so shit is about to go down. And winner gets the allowance!
The boys think they have this in the bag, since they know there are no ghosts, right? Well in the middle of the night, a creepy voice that sounds nothing like Marcia starts coming from a chest in the attic!
LET ME OUT!
The chest opens and a “ghost” rises from it scaring Peter, then Bobby, and well, not quite Greg.
“Fun in fun, but you know you can carry joking too far,” said a wise woman by the name of Carol Brady. The cat is out of the bag now (or the ghost is out of the chest) and both the boys and the girls know that they were pranking each other.
Still, the girls get the prize money – Alice was keeping it safe – and they ask Alice is she’s afraid of anything. Dying alone was what I thought she was going to say – but nope, she’s afraid of nothing. Not vampires or even werewolves. I bring this up only because Marcia pronounced it “Wur-wolf” as if the first four letters were the word “were.”
So that’s how I’m going to pronounce it for the rest of my life because Marcia is perfect.
Oh – and now, these 6 little shits want to team up and scare the un-scarable.
Really nice, scare the old lady who does all the housework while your lazy mother with NO job does NOTHING but sculpt a terrible sculpture of your dad’s head – and totally gets the hair wrong.
Yes, that is a subplot in this episode – Carol is sculpting a bust of Mike Brady!
With the parents out at an exhibit for the terrible sculpture, and Alice out at a drive-in getting handsy with Sam the Butcher, these horrible children set up pretty complicated pranks, which I can only assume they hope will result in Alice having a major heart attack and passing away right in front of them.
These kids are craving death. It’s fueling them, and it’s sickening.
But here’s the thing, Alice isn’t the first one home – maybe Sam took her to Inspiration Point. And here comes Mr. and Mrs. Michael Eugene Brady strolling into a death trap.
I made up that middle name, but I think it fits nicely.
The kids think it’s Alice and hatch their murderous plan – to no success! Mike and Carol see right through the joke. But here’s the rub – when Mike and Carol go to turn the light on, they leave the sculpture of Mike out – and THAT is when Alice gets home and THAT is what scares her. She thinks the sculpture is a strange man that broke into the house only to sit on the couch.
But guess what – Alice don’t take no shit from nobody – and she wacks that sculpture with her lady purse – breaking it into hundreds of pieces.
And that thing won 3rd prize! I’d hate to see what 4th place looked like.
So these jerk kids get NO allowance for 2 weeks for their shenanigans – never mind the fact that they ruined one of Carol’s good sheets!
But hey that’s okay, because the next day the kids did a piss poor job of putting the sculpture back together, and everybody is happy.
That’s how life should be, right!? Attempt to murder your housekeeper tonight. Laugh about it tomorrow.
DID I LAUGH?
Not really. I smiled a bunch though.
WERE YOU SCARED?
There were some creepy moments that probably would’ve scared me a bunch (see what I did there) as a kid, but nothing now.
By the way, 3 days and 3 episodes, and each one was the 6th episode of the season. 6, 6, and 6.
6….6….6….
Oh no, I need to go to bed…..with a night light on….
